In Life is Not an Accident (Part I), I laid the foundation for the series by making two points:
First, that by observing patterns in others, we can often predict their direction—toward success or failure.
Second, the outcome of our lives—whether success or failure—is rarely the result of one big decision. It is shaped by the small choices we make every day.
But this series isn’t just about observing others. It’s about looking inward—examining our own choices. It’s about holding up a mirror to ourselves and recognizing that we are responsible for the outcomes of our lives.
The Blame Game Is as Old as Time
One of the most tragic tendencies of human nature is our instinct to blame others for our failures. The Bible says:
“People ruin their lives by their own foolishness and then are angry at the Lord.”
— Proverbs 19:3 (NLT)
We’ve been blaming God since the Garden of Eden. When God asked Adam why he disobeyed, Adam said:
“The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.”
— Genesis 3:12 (NKJV)
In other words, Adam blamed both Eve and, indirectly, God. Eve, in turn, blamed the serpent:
“The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
— Genesis 3:13 (NKJV)
Even in insurance, we see this tendency. Policies include coverage for “Acts of God”—damages from natural events like floods or earthquakes. People blame God for tragedies—not always for causing them, but for not preventing them. Yet those same people rarely thank God when things go right.
The Tragedy of Dinah and Shechem
In Genesis 34, we witness the tragic intersection of two lives. Dinah was raped, and Shechem, the man who raped her, ultimately lost his life.
Let’s start with Shechem. I do not, in any way, condone or excuse his behavior—what he did was appalling. Yet his death was a tragedy too, even if you believe he deserved it.
Verse 19 says, “He was more honorable than all the household of his father.” In this context, “honorable” means important, respected, or influential—traits that may have bred a sense of entitlement. This is reflected in his apparent lack of remorse. Women say, “Real men do not rape women,” and I wholeheartedly agree.
Shechem’s actions may reflect the moral confusion of his culture—where power and desire blurred the lines of consent. While nothing excuses what he did, it’s notable that, unlike Amnon, who raped Tamar and cast her aside (2 Samuel 13), Shechem did not reject Dinah. He even sought to marry her and showed emotional attachment, which may hint at remorse or a conflicted conscience shaped by a flawed upbringing.
Still, this does not redeem his actions. Any concern he showed afterward only highlights how sin can be both violent and tragically self-deceiving.
This is not an attempt to justify or rehabilitate him. Regardless of what may or may not be true, his story illustrates the danger of becoming intimately involved with unbelievers.
The Warning of Unequal Yokes
In life and in business, we sometimes befriend those who do not believe in Jesus Christ or live by biblical values. The Bible doesn’t forbid such friendships—Jesus attended the wedding in Cana (John 2) and dined with Pharisees. But Scripture is clear:
“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.”
— 2 Corinthians 6:14
Any intimate relationship—romantic, marital, or business—is a form of yoke. Although the relationship between Dinah and Shechem wasn’t a consensual or mutual yoke, the principle still stands: ignoring this instruction puts us at risk of compromise or worse. Some believers have learned this the hard way.
Shechem’s story parallels that of many young men who make destructive, life-altering choices—rape, drunk driving, fighting, theft, or falling in with the wrong crowd which may lead to imprisonment. Shechem paid with his life, and tragically, so did his entire family.
Could Dinah Have Done Anything Differently?
What about Dinah? Did she do anything wrong—or could she have acted differently?
You may disagree, but I believe Dinah made choices that left her vulnerable. Genesis 34:1 says she “went out to see the daughters of the land.” Her family had just moved into the region, and Jacob had only recently purchased land from Hamor, Shechem’s father. These were people Dinah barely knew and who did not share the values she was raised with. Yet she went out among them. These women were not her friends.
Dinah’s actions that day, while not wrong in themselves, placed her in an unfamiliar environment where she was unprotected. This speaks more to caution than to culpability. It’s a reminder that wisdom lies not only in what we do, but also in where we choose to do it and with whom.
We see similar patterns today—a woman goes out with her girlfriends, meets a guy she barely knows, lets her emotions override caution, and leaves with him. She ends up raped—or worse, dead. She ignored the unspoken girl code: when you go out together, you leave together.
Crime stories often show how a series of unwise choices led to tragedy. These moments are rarely highlighted—understandably, to avoid speaking ill of the dead. But today, even suggesting that poor decisions contributed to danger is labeled “victim blaming.” That mindset denies accountability and prevents others from learning how to avoid the same pitfalls.
Dinah’s story is a cautionary tale—a reminder to be mindful of the company we keep and the environments we enter, especially when those around us do not share our values.
Other Real-Life Examples
A woman engages in premarital sex and relies on contraceptives. Later in life, she struggles with infertility and blames God—never considering that years of contraceptive use or unprotected sex might have affected her reproductive health.
Another example: a student enters college on a scholarship that requires maintaining a certain GPA. But instead of preparing for exams, they procrastinate. Even with deadlines looming, they choose a last-minute social outing over studying. They say a quick prayer for help, but when they fail and lose their scholarship, they blame God.
Take Responsibility
Learning to be honest with ourselves, to take personal responsibility, and to make wise decisions are keys to success in life. If we fail to do this—and keep looking for someone to blame—we are setting ourselves up for failure.
Blaming God for the negative outcomes in our lives is one of the devil’s deceptions. I’m not one of those who sees a demon behind every door, but yes, some bad things do happen as a result of demonic machinations. There is a spiritual dimension to life.
I need God. You need God. And that will be the focus of the next part of this series.
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