Consider this: those who criticize most vehemently often reveal more about themselves than about the people they condemn and are often guilty of the very things they accuse others of. Many times, they themselves do not live by the standards they want to impose on you. They are hypocrites.
This is why Jesus said of the Pharisees:
“...The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. Therefore whatever they tell you to observe, that observe and do, but do not do according to their works; for they say, and do not do.”
Matthew 23:2-3 NKJV
Jesus is saying they teach the law of Moses—that is, they sit in Moses’ seat—but they don’t practice what they preach. Do you know anyone like that? However, notice something important: Jesus didn’t dismiss their words simply because they were hypocrites. No, He said listen to them because they teach the law.
That’s a vital lesson for us. Even when someone’s life doesn’t measure up, their criticism or teaching may still contain truth. We shouldn’t reject an honest correction simply because the messenger is flawed.
I hold strong views, but they are forged through learning, study, and Scripture. Yet even with conviction, I remain open—willing to listen to opposing views and to change if proven wrong, especially if the Word of God corrects me. Engage in respectful dialogue even with those who disagree with you. Respect other people’s right to hold their views even when you disagree—or even when they don’t respect yours.
Jesus, unlike the Pharisees, practiced what He preached, and He showed us from His example how to engage in respectful dialogue even with those who may not do the same.
A Model Dialogue
One of my favorite books of the Bible is the Gospel of John because, among other things, it records many conversations that you won’t find in the other gospels. One such conversation is a back-and-forth that Jesus had with the “Jews”—a code word for the religious establishment and authorities of His day and those who opposed Him—in John chapter 8.
It was essentially a conversation about the nature of sin and what it means to be truly free. It began with Jesus saying:
“I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.”
Verse 12
They immediately criticized Him by saying:
“You bear witness of Yourself; Your witness is not true.”
Verse 13
There is a background to them saying this. In John 5:31, Jesus had said, “If I bear witness of Myself, My witness is not true.” Then He gave them four reasons why they should believe in Him: the testimonies of John the Baptist, of the miracles He performed, of God, and of the Scriptures they already believed.
This was what they seized on when they said, “...Your witness is not true.” However, they were taking it out of context. When Jesus said that before, He was giving them reasons why they should believe Him even if they didn’t believe what He was saying. He wasn’t saying that His testimony of Himself is not credible.
We sometimes encounter people who do this—take something you say out of context and distort the intent and meaning.
I won’t go through the entire dialogue, but Jesus told them that it is the truth that makes free (verse 32). They rejected it and argued that they were Abraham’s descendants and didn’t need to be set free because they had never been slaves (verse 33). Jesus responded that their desire to kill Him proved their sinfulness, something Abraham would not do (verse 40).
Then, they claimed they were God’s children. Jesus countered that if they were indeed God’s children, they would love Him and listen to Him because He came from God (verses 42–43). He further said that the reason they do not listen is because they were not of God (verse 47).
This offended them, so they said Jesus was a, “...Samaritan and have a demon...” (verse 48). You see, they were beginning to use abusive language. People who have no argument against the truth or cannot defend their false views would sometimes do this. But did Jesus respond in kind? No. He said that it wasn’t true and that they dishonored Him by saying that (verse 49). And He added:
“...if anyone keeps My word he shall never see death.”
Verse 50
This really provoked them. So they retorted, “...Now we know that You have a demon!” (verse 52). They accused Him of being full of Himself for saying this since Abraham and the prophets had died.
Jesus calmly replied by saying that He existed before Abraham:
“Your father Abraham rejoiced to see My day, and he saw it and was glad.”
Verse 56
This really sent them through the roof, especially when Jesus added:
“Most assuredly, I say to you, before Abraham was, I AM.”
Verse 58
They rightly understood that Jesus was claiming to be God by calling Himself I AM. So how did they react to it? They picked up stones to kill Him. But Jesus, “...hid Himself and went out of the temple...” (verse 59).
Three Takeaways
One, hold fast to the truth you know and believe, but don’t lower yourself to insults—even when others insult you. Jesus was unwavering in speaking the Truth, and when confronted with their insults, He answered with facts and evidence—more truth, not insults. Trading insults never advances the conversation or deepens understanding of the Truth.
Two, if it becomes clear that people have already made up their minds and are closed to learning or understanding, continuing the dialogue is pointless. You won’t always see this at the beginning, but once you recognize it, it’s wiser to stop. Nothing you say will change their minds; in fact, pushing further will only provoke anger.
Three, we live in a society where people often cannot agree to disagree—and in some cases, hostility can escalate dangerously. When they don’t like what you’re saying, their reaction can grow heated, even violent. How should you respond? You may never face a confrontation this extreme, but if you do, follow Jesus’ example: remove yourself from the situation. Read the room carefully. We bear responsibility for our own personal safety. Do not recklessly remain in unsafe environments or among those with violent intentions.
I will have more to say about disagreements, the pressures we face, and how we should handle them in the next part. Subscribe to be notified as soon as it lands.